A number of years ago, I applied for a post in a Hospital Chaplaincy. In the end I didn’t get the post, I lost out to someone who had more experience in that type of ministry than I had, but I was shortlisted and got to the final interview stage of the appointment process. I’ve never forgotten that interview, not because I found it particularly hard in any way but because of a question I was asked during the interview. The interviewing panel was made up of an NHS Manager, the Lead Chaplain of the Hospital Trust and a suffragan Bishop of the Diocese, and at one point the NHS Manager asked me what I liked most about parish ministry. I said dealing with people. He then asked me what I liked least about parish ministry and I immediately gave him exactly the same answer, dealing with people. He looked completely bemused by that answer and even more so because as soon as I gave it the Lead Chaplain and the Bishop started laughing.
I’m not surprised though that someone who hasn’t had experience of parish ministry would find those answers puzzling because it does sound contradictory to say that both the most and least pleasurable aspects of something are exactly the same. Nevertheless, they are accurate answers, and they’re answers that all parish clergy would understand and that most would probably agree with, which is why the Lead Chaplain and Bishop at that interview started laughing when I gave those answers.
Something that’s often said is that the Church would be a wonderful thing, if only it wasn’t for the people. Of course, that is a nonsensical thing to say really because if there were no people there wouldn’t be a Church., The point is though, that it is the people who make up the Church who can make both being a member of the Church such a joy at times but who can also make being a member of the Church such hard work at times.
And being a member of the Church should be a joy, for all of us. Speaking as a priest, I get to share in some of the joyful moments of people’s lives, baptisms, weddings, anniversary celebrations and many other happy times and occasions. I get to help people through difficult times such as illness and bereavement, which if not exactly a joy is certainly a great privilege. And I get to see people grow and develop as people and in faith too. And one of the great joys of my ministry has been to see members of my congregations offer themselves for ordination to the priesthood.
Another great joy of my ministry has been the opportunity to go into schools and work with children. So, there are many, many ways in which dealing with people can and does make being a member of the Church, and being a priest, joyful. And yet, as we all know, people can be very hard work at times. And the clergy no less than the laity. One of the great friends of my life was Fr Neville Ashton who I know many of you will remember. He was the person responsible for bringing me back to the Church as a teenager, the one who more than any other encouraged my vocation and a great and long-standing personal friend of mine too. And yet there were times when I found him hard work, absolutely infuriating even, and I know that there were times when he could have said the same about me.
So how do we, as Christians, deal with this, this paradoxical situation of the Church’s people, our fellow members of the Body of Christ, being both the best and the worst aspect of being a member of the Church?
I think it’s helpful to remember that Jesus called his disciples ‘friends’. We are his friends and if he sees us as friends then we ought to see each other as friends too. It has been said that a true friend is someone who knows everything about us, both the good and the bad, but likes us anyway. That’s the kind of friend we have in Jesus because he sees us as we really are, the good and the bad, but likes us anyway. And if that’s the kind of friend Jesus is to us, that’s the kind of friend we should be to one another. That’s easier said than done though but one of the ways we can be that kind of friend to our fellow members of the Church is by being the forgiving people we’re called to be.
I know it’s often said that, when someone’s done something we don’t like, we should forgive and forget. But I think that’s a bit of a cop out. One of the ways people try to deal with difficult situations is to try to forget them. But if we forget, how can we possibly know that we’ve really forgiven that person? How can we forgive someone when we don’t remember what it was they did or said? People also use forgetfulness to avoid responsibility for the wrong they’ve done. How often have we come across a situation in which someone’s done something we didn’t like but, when we’ve said something about it, they’ve said that they don’t remember it?
True forgiveness actually requires a good and honest memory especially for us, as Christians, because this is the way God forgives us. As we read in last Sunday’s Gospel, when we stand before the Lord, we’ll have to answer for what we’ve done. There is no forgetfulness in God.
What there is, is a true remembrance of all we’ve done, the good and the bad, but the bad is not held against us because the penalty for that has already been paid in the blood of Christ. God and Christ know everything about us but like us anyway. They remember all the bad we’ve done but because of Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, they treat us as though we hadn’t done it. That’s really what it means to say our sins are forgiven, that they’re remembered but they’re not held against us and don’t affect our friendship with the Lord. And that’s the kind of forgiveness we’re called to show and the kind of friends we’re called to be to one another.
It must be said though, that on a straight reading, this morning’s Gospel suggests that forgiveness has its limits. To treat those who won’t listen, that is, unrepentant sinners, like Gentiles or tax-collectors suggests that such people should be shunned, perhaps even expelled from the community. But on a wider reading, this morning’s Gospel should be seen as a process, an attempt to establish the truth of what has happened and a call to repentance and reconciliation. Very much then, a call for honest remembrance of wrongdoing so that there can be forgiveness and on-going friendship.
But of course, rather than having to remember sins so that they can be forgiven, it would be much better if those sins hadn’t happened in the first place because then there would be no need of forgiveness. And so, while we are called to be a forgiving people, we’re called first and foremost to be a loving people. And love is the highest and greatest of Christian virtues because sins, all sins, are simply the result of a failure to love.
All of us, at times are guilty of not loving God and our neighbour, or at least not loving them enough and as we ought to. That’s why we’re all sinners. That’s why we, people, who can be the best part of the Church and the cause of so much joy in the Church, can also be the worst part of the Church and cause so much unhappiness and trouble in the Church.
I know that some people, for whatever reason do seem to enjoy being at the centre of some problem or other; they almost seem to thrive on trouble and drama. But for most people that isn’t the case. Most of us want to be much more the cause of joy than of unhappiness. Even so there are times when we get into disputes with people and have fall outs with them. But when that happens, we have to be honest with ourselves about what we’re doing and saying. And being honest about these things we then have to stop and think.
Before we do another thing or say another word, we need to ask ourselves, “Would I be happy if someone did or said this to me?” And if the honest answer is ‘No’ then don’t do it or say it.
Of course, there will be times when we have to say or do something that the other person isn’t going to like, and morning’s Gospel tells us how to deal with those situations. But there will also be times when we don’t have to do or say anything, no matter how much we might want to. For example, taking someone to task because you’ve found them helping themselves to money from a donation box has to be done; blaming someone for that without evidence perhaps because you simply don’t like that person very much, most definitely shouldn’t be done. So, we have to be honest, and we have to be loving. If we were the loving people we’re called to be it would there would be much more joy in the Church and a lot less trouble because, as St Paul says,
‘Love does no wrong to a neighbour…’
As I’ve said, people can be, and are, both the best and the worst thing about the Church. But I’m sure that the vast majority of us do want to be counted among the best, so let’s be the friends to one another that we’re called to be. Let’s do our best to like one another is spite of the good and the bad that exists in all of us. And when things do go wrong let’s be the forgiving people that we’re called to be so that we can put our problems behind us. And above all, let’s be the loving people Christ commanded us to be so that we’ll have less to forgive and be forgiven for in the first place.
Amen.
Propers for the 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, 6th September 2026
Entrance Antiphon
You are just, O Lord, and your judgment is right;
treat your servant in accord with your merciful love.
The Collect
O God, by whom we are redeemed and receive adoption,
look graciously upon your beloved sons and daughters,
that those who believe in Christ
may receive true freedom
and an everlasting inheritance.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, for ever and ever.
Amen.
The Readings
Ezekiel 33:7-9
Psalm 95:1-2, 6-9
Romans 13:8-10
Matthew 18:15-20
Prayer after Communion
Grant that your faithful, O Lord,
whom you nourish and endow with life
through the food of your Word and heavenly Sacrament,
may so benefit from your beloved Son’s great gifts
that we may merit an eternal share in his life.
Who lives and reigns for ever and ever.
Amen.
