I’ve no doubt that most of us here will have seen a film, or perhaps a cartoon, in which a character in the story is faced with a problem, usually some kind of moral dilemma, and as they ponder what to do, two small characters suddenly pop up on their shoulders. One, usually on their right shoulder, is an angel who whispers into the ear of the main character, urging them to do the right thing, which is what’s best for others. The other small figure is a devil, who usually pops up on the left shoulder, and urges the main character to do the wrong thing, that is, to ignore the needs of others and do what’s best for the main character themselves, the selfish thing. Perhaps they even urge the main character to do something that doesn’t just ignore the needs of others but to do something that’s positively harmful to them, perhaps to take revenge on them for something they’ve done in the past or to sabotage them in some way that’s to the advantage of the main character.
I’m sure we’ve seen this kind of scene on screen, but I’m also sure we’ve actually experienced it for ourselves too. I don’t mean that we’ve had little angels and devils popping up on our shoulders speaking to us, I think it would be quite worrying if that had happened or we thought that had happened, but I’m sure we’ve all had that kind of discussion with ourselves as an internal dialogue, that voice in our own heads that urges us to first one course of action and then another as we ponder what to do when we have a decision to make, perhaps especially when that decision is a difficult one that involves other people and their welfare.
These situations can be difficult for us to resolve. Sometimes it can be hard for us to know what the best course of action to take actually is. And that’s often the case when we lean towards one course of action, probably the one our natural inclination is towards, perhaps that our first instinct leads us towards, but then, somewhere in the back of our mind we hear a word of caution, and we start to question whether our initial reaction is the right one. I think that often is the case when we have to make difficult decisions because experience has taught us that we have to be careful before we decide what we’re going to do in these cases. Experience might not have made us cynical, although it can do that, but we at least want to weigh up the pros and cons of a situation before we decide what to do, and certainly before we actually do anything about the situation. This can be a problem for us whenever we have a decision to make, and it can certainly be a problem for us when we try to bring our faith to bear on our decision making.
As Christians, our first instinct when we have to make a decision should be to do what’s most in keeping with our faith, in other words and to use a saying that was common a few years ago, we should ask ourselves “What would Jesus do?” and then, in so far as possible, we should do likewise. But it’s not always so simple. Sometimes there may be many people involved in a situation and who’ll affected by what we decide, and we can’t possibly please everyone. That’s a situation parish priests are often faced with. But all any of us can do in those situations is weigh up what’s best for the common good and do that, even if that means, as it almost always does, that one or more individuals are disappointed, or perhaps even upset and angry with the decision we make.
Another problem we can have when it comes to making decisions is that experience can cause us to question whether our first instincts, our natural feelings as Christians, really are the right things to go on in making a decision. I’ll give you an example of what I mean.
A few years ago, when I was serving in another parish, I was asked to inter someone’s ashes in the churchyard, but I was asked by the previous vicar of the parish if I would mind asking the family for only those fees that were due to the diocese, and waiving the PCC and parish fees because the family were struggling financially. (He’d carried out the funeral shortly before he left the parish, and it seems he’d done the same with the funeral fees). So I mentioned this to the PCC and the other people involved, the verger and gravedigger and, very reluctantly it must be said, they agreed. I spoke to the family and told them what we’d decided and what we were obliged by the diocese to charge them, they thanked me and said they’d bring the money to church on the day of the interment. The day came round, I interred the ashes but when I asked for the fees, the family said they hadn’t had chance to get them because their benefits hadn’t been paid into the bank that week and they’d bring them to church the following Sunday. With that they jumped into what looked like a brand-new car and shot off like they were making a getaway after just robbing a bank. Needless to say, they didn’t come to church the following Sunday, nor any other day. We never saw them again, they never answered any of my calls nor replied to any of the messages I left for them, and we never did get the diocesan fees from them. I’m sure that says more about that family than it does about me or the people of that parish, but because of that, the PCC said they would never waive fees for anyone in the future, regardless of the situation. The verger and gravedigger, meanwhile, blamed me for the whole situation, and said they’d never waive their fees again either and if they were asked to, I could get someone else to be verger and gravedigger for those services. Personally, I have waived fees in similar situations on a few occasions since then, but I’ve been very reluctant to do that and I’ve wanted to see some evidence that the families concerned really are in financial difficulties before I’ve agreed to do that, and I’ve insisted on those fees that I can’t waive being paid in advance, before I’ve carried out the service in question.
I think this shows how a bad experience can cause us to question ourselves when we have a decision to make. Some people do struggle financially and might well struggle to pay things like funeral fees. And in those situations, our natural Christian instinct is to do what we can to help them in some way. But experience can cause us to draw back from making that decision. On the basis of once bitten, twice shy, to question whether we’re doing the right thing in helping out, or perhaps even cause us to refuse to help out. Jesus tells us that we shouldn’t cast our pearls before swine, so we’re under no obligation to help those who don’t need our help and indeed, we should be wary of doing that, but he says that we should give to those who beg and borrow, in other words to those who are in need. And he also urges us not to respond in kind even if our generosity is abused, he tells us to turn the other cheek and not to demand our goods back from those who take them and so on. But how many truly needy people have we as individuals and have the Church missed out on helping, or even refused to help because some undeserving swine (Jesus’ word, not mine) has abused our Christian generosity in the past?
So experience can lead us to question ourselves and question our Christian instincts when it comes to doing the right thing. What goes on in the world around us can cause us to lose sight of Jesus and his teaching and example. And really, isn’t this exactly what happened to Peter in this morning’s Gospel reading? The disciples were out at sea in rough weather, they were battling against heavy waters and perhaps had been for many hours. No doubt they concerned for their own safety and well-being, and experienced seamen that they were, perhaps they were even starting to become a little afraid. Suddenly, they see Jesus walking on the water and now they’re terrified. We read that they thought they were seeing a ghost, but the Greek word here means something more like an appearance or apparition of a spirit, so perhaps they though they were seeing an evil spirit, perhaps one that had come to lead them to their deaths? But Jesus called to them that it was him. And Peter, the impulsive, instinctive one reacts by asking Jesus to command him to come to him on the water. That’s an act of faith. If it was the Lord, Peter had faith that he could walk out on the heavy sea to meet Jesus. And so he does. But when he gets out on the water, he realises what he’s doing and starts to become more concerned about what’s going on around him, the wind and the waves, he takes his eyes and mind off Jesus, and he starts to sink. And it’s only when he turns his thoughts back to Jesus and calls out to Jesus to save him, another act of faith, that he is saved.
We can be just like Peter in this morning’s Gospel. We have faith, faith enough, I hope, to turn to Jesus for help when we’re in need. Faith enough to turn to Jesus for help when we have a decision to make. But we can become so concerned with what’s going on around us that we take our mind off Jesus. And that’s when we can get into trouble because then we’re not letting Jesus help us. Just like Peter who could walk on the rough seas as long as he kept his mind on Jesus but started to sink when his mind turned to the wind and the waves, we can be blown about by the winds of doubt and sink into a sea of doubt and indecision when we take our minds off Jesus and start to think about other things. We might think about what’s gone on in the past; what if this happens? What if that happens? What will such and such a body think if I do this or don’t do that? And when we get into that situation, we can find it hard to make any decision, let alone the right decision. We might not actually have an angel on our right shoulder and a devil on our left, whispering competing and conflicting things into our ears, but we might as well have.
As Christians, what we do should always be, in so far as it possibly can be, in keeping with the teaching and example of Jesus, and that means that we have to be guided by him when we have a decision to make. So when we’re faced with a decision, we have to keep our minds on Jesus. If we don’t do that, if we allow our minds to wander to other things, what’s going on in the world around us, what’s happened in the past and so on, we’ll find it all the harder to make the right choices and decisions. Just as Peter started to sink into the waves on the sea when he took his mind off Jesus, we’ll start sinking into a sea of doubt and indecision if we take our minds off Jesus. But if we can keep our minds on Jesus then we might even find ourselves able to walk on water too, or at least find that we can rise above the sea of doubt and indecision that stops us from making the best and most Christian decisions we can.
Amen.
Propers for the 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Trinity 10) 13th August 2023
Entrance Antiphon
Lord, be true to your covenant, forget not the life of your poor ones forever.
Rise up, O God, and defend your cause; do not ignore the shouts of your enemies.
The Collect
Let your merciful ears, O Lord,
be open to the prayers of your humble servants;
and that they may obtain their petitions,
make them to ask such things as shall please you;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.
Amen.
The Readings
Missal (St Mark’s)
1 Kings 19:9, 11-13
Psalm 85:9-14
Romans 9:1-5
Matthew 14:22-33
RCL (St Gabriel’s)
1 Kings 19:9-18
Psalm 85:8-13
Romans 10:5-15
Matthew 14:22-33
Parish Church of St Mark Chadderton 