It’s often said isn’t it, that once trust has been lost in a relationship, it can never be regained. And perhaps one of the surest ways to destroy trust in a relationship is to be dishonest in our dealings with the other person or people in a relationship. So it’s not surprising that in the list of things that the Book of Proverbs tells us are hateful to God because they cause discord between people, a lying tongue is second only to haughtiness, to arrogant pride.
Having said that, just as there’s a difference between pride itself, feeling happy and satisfied about something we’ve done, and haughtiness, feeling superior to others and looking down on them because of what we’ve done, I think we have to make a distinction between ways of being truthful and lying too. And the distinction, I think, can be made in the intention behind what we say, or don’t say as the case may be.
We can sometimes tell lies with good intent. We tell what we call ‘little white lies’ don’t we? And these ‘little white lies’ are things we say that aren’t entirely truthful, or perhaps not truthful at all, but that we say to protect the feelings and well-being of the person or people we’re speaking to. So, for example, If someone had been to the hairdressers and they asked us if we liked their new hairstyle, we might say, “Yes, it really suits you.” We might actually be thinking something along the lines of “What on earth have you done to your hair? You look like you’ve joined the Grenadier Guards. It looks like you’re wearing a bearskin hat!” But we wouldn’t say that because we know it’d hurt the feelings of the person who’d asked us the question. Perhaps particularly if it was obvious to us that the person who’d asked really liked their new hairdo. Or, more seriously, if we knew someone was terminally ill and one of their children asked us what was wrong with their mum or dad, we might say that they’re just a bit poorly at the moment, but they should get better soon. We’d know that was a lie, but we’d say it to protect a child from a truth that was too hard for them to hear and bear. We’d lie with good intent; we’d hide the truth out of care and concern for the person we were speaking to.
And hiding the truth from people in order to protect them, not telling them the whole story because it would be too much for them to hear, is another way we can sometimes be less than truthful with people but with good intent. It might not necessarily be a case of telling a ‘little white lie’, but of telling them only part of the truth, or just not saying anything to them at all, even when we know what the truth really is.
I’m sure there are those who think that, as Christians, we should treat every situation as a court case where we should tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But if that was the case, we would make Jesus himself hateful to God. In that part of the Gospel according to St John that we know as the ‘Farewell Discourses’, we hear Jesus’ final teaching and instruction to his disciples. Part of that teaching is a warning of the difficulties and persecutions his disciples would face on account of their faith but even so, Jesus hides some things from them. He tells the disciples,
“I have said all these things to you to keep you from falling away. They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God. And they will do these things because they have not known the Father, nor me. But I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told them to you.”
But even so, Jesus goes on to say,
“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”
So it’s clear from that, that we can sometimes be less than truthful without being sinful and hateful to God.
Whether what we say that isn’t truthful is hateful to God does then, depend on our intention. And I think the usual ways that our lying tongues are hateful to God is when we lie either about ourselves, or we lie with the intention of leading others astray.
So why do we lie about ourselves? Obviously, one of the usual reasons we lie about ourselves, and probably the main reason we lie about ourselves, is to try and cover up the things we’ve done wrong. We lie in an attempt to hide our sins. This is certainly one way in which our lying tongues are hateful to God because, to put it very simply and bluntly, if we have to lie because we’ve done something we shouldn’t have done, we shouldn’t have done it in the first place should we? If we hadn’t done that thing, or those things, we wouldn’t have to lie to try and hide what we’ve done would we? But we can look at lying to hide our sins in another way too.
Lying to hide our sins from God is a completely futile exercise, because we can’t hide from God. And if we’re lying for that reason then we really haven’t learned anything since the days of Adam and Eve because didn’t they try to hide from God in the Garden of Eden after they’d committed the first sin?
So who are we trying to hide our sins from, other people? In that case aren’t we doing things for the praise of men, as Jesus put it? If we lie to make ourselves look better than we really are to other people, aren’t we putting worldly praise and glory before the things that lead to eternal life? And if we lie to make ourselves look good to other people, isn’t that also rooted in pride and haughtiness? When we lie about ourselves to cover up our faults and failings, aren’t we then claiming to be something we’re not, claiming to be better than we are and, by implication, better than others? But when we lie about ourselves aren’t we at the same time also implicitly confessing to ourselves that we’re not as good as we should be? Unless of course we start to believe our own lies and really believe that we are much better than we actually are. Perhaps that’s the worst and most hateful aspect of our lying tongues, because if we really do believe our own lies, how can we possibly be penitent and repent? If we believe our own lies about ourselves we probably won’t think we have anything to be penitent for or repent of. If we believe our own lies about ourselves we’ll be in danger of being those people of whom we read in the First Letter of John;
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us…. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
Even if we don’t believe our own lies about ourselves though, the lies we tell about ourselves are always intended to deceive others. But we can lie to deceive others in other ways too. We can lie to them in order to make them think and act in ways that we want them to and when we do that, our lying tongues are hateful to God because our lies can lead people astray, they can lead people away from truth, God’s truth, and can lead them into sin.
We know this happens in the world because we see it happening all around us. One very subtle way lies lead us astray is in advertising. Why do advertisers often use famous people to advertise their products? One reason is because a well-known face will draw attention to the product they want to sell but isn’t there also a subtle but false implication that, if we have that thing, we’ll be like that famous person? But, for example, having a certain beverage making machine will not make us into millionaire, multi-award-winning actors.
And I’m sorry fellows, it won’t make us look like said actor, which might be a bit disappointing for the ladies in our lives too!
A far more serious way that lies can lead us astray though is in politics. The very essence of politics and of politicians is to convince people of the need to think and act in a certain way. A ‘good’ politician is one who can convince people that their way is the right way, even if doing that involves taking liberties with the truth. But we know what this can lead to. The Nazis convinced the German people that Germany didn’t lose the First World War on the battlefield but because they were betrayed by Jews and Bolsheviks at home. They convinced people that the German people were superior to all other people on earth. They convinced people that the Jews in particular were the cause of all their problems and that if the Jews could be eliminated they, the Germans, would be able to take their rightful place as the ‘Master Race’ and rulers of the world. All lies; but they convinced people that it was all true and we know that it led to what must be one of the most shockingly brutal examples of how lying tongues can lead to the discord between people that is so abhorrent to God.
And sadly this happens in the Church too. At the moment, in the debate about same-sex marriage in the Church of England, we’re hearing various interpretations of what Scripture has to say on the subject which are ranging from simple, direct translations through various interpretations of how these words could be translated and interpreted, to blatant lies about what the words in Scripture mean and even about what the words in Scripture actually are. We know how much discord this is causing in the Church and some of it, at least, is stemming from lying tongues that are simply seeking to push their own particular view on this subject and convince others that their view is the right one, that their view is the truth.
Lying tongues are hateful to God because they are one of the primary causes of discord between people. They must also be hateful to God because they lead people away from the truth, his truth, and so they lead people into error and into sin and prevent them from feeling penitence and repenting of sin. So, let’s try to make sure that we know God’s truth so that we can discern lying tongues and not be led astray by them. And let’s make sure too that our tongues are not lying tongues so that we don’t lead anyone astray.
Amen.
Propers for Lent 2 – 5th March 2023
Entrance Antiphon
Remember your mercies, Lord, your tenderness from ages past.
Do not let our enemies triumph over us; O God, deliver Israel from all her distress.
The Collect
Almighty God,
you show to those who are in error the light of your truth,
that they may return to the way of righteousness:
grant to all those who are admitted into the fellowship of Christ’s religion,
that they may reject those things that are contrary to their profession,
and follow all such things as are agreeable to the same;
through our Lord Jesus Christ,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.
Amen.
The Readings
Missal (St Mark’s)
Genesis 12:1-4
Psalm 33:4-5, 18-20, 22
2 Timothy 1:8-10
Matthew 17:1-9
RCL (St Gabriel’s)
Genesis 12:1-4
Psalm 121
Romans 4:1-5, 13-17
John 3:1-17
Parish Church of St Mark Chadderton 